KENAPA???

kenapa???
satu persoalan....kadang kadang ia terungkai kadang di biarkan tanpa jawapan... tp bg orang seperti aku pertanyaan 'kenapa' sering kali menjadi permainan hidup aku dan yang lebih memeritkan ia tidak berkesudahan..tak mengapa kalau ia tidak berkesudahan tapi ia membahagiakan...tidak mengapa kalau tiada penghujung tapi sepanjang pejalanan hidup di sulami kegembiraan...yang memeritkan ia sentiasa di ulit kesedihan...kalau ia bukan mimpi tak lain tak bukan ia realiti...hati bile di toreh di waktu sedar mampu membunuh si pemiliknya. aku hanya ingin bahgia...hanya ingin gembira...jangan bunuh kebahagian aku...jangan rampas kegembiraan aku,walaupun aku tahu ia untuk sementara tapi yang pasti die kekal untuk selamanya...mungkin tak semua memahami tp tanggungan nya cukup berat...aku ibarat merangkak menanggung kesedihan jika kebahagian aku d rampas...hanya kebahagian sumber kekuatan aku di kala ini...

NOKTAH

bait-bait puisi
aku coret sepenuh hati..
memori bagaikan bersatu
bersama hujung nukilan
melahirkan rahsia tersirat
setiap bait puisi akan aku akhiri dengan noktah....
noktah membawa aku kepada
persoalan yana mula menampakkan rupa...
adakah hidupku bernoktah kan kebahagian...?
ataupun aku ditentukan tidak bernoktah?
aku mentafsir noktah
sebagai titik penamat cerita ku..
yang mana noktah itu ku titikkan di tempat yang terpilih...
impian ku.....!
tetapi kekadang....cerita tak seindah imaginasi
bila mana...skripnya bukan lagi dalam kawalanku..
noktah ku hilang arah...
penamat ceritaku kabur...
hingga memaksa masa mencoretkan
penamat hidupku...
bukan lagi aku...

(sebuah puisi di petik dr buku ku ' diriku, karma, merah')


hakikatnya...walau tidak bernoktah..aku tetap bahagia...bukan kerana aku bangga dengan tindakan aku...tetapi kerana aku bersyukur aku merasai kasih sayang mu walaupun kita tidak dijadikan untuk hidup bersama..tapi...aku tetap bersyukur...mengenali kau satu anugerah walaupun ia bukan untuk selamanya, ia tetap satu penghargaan...melihat senyuman kau satu kepuasan, mendengar gelak tawa kau satu kenikmatan...kalau boleh, aku ingin selamanya...kadang2 kau sakiti hatiku tapi aku tetap bersyukur kerana aku masih memiliki mu...kadang2 air mataku menitis keranamu tetapi aku tetap bersyukur kerana is menitis untuk mu...hakikatnya...walaupun noktah ku kabur aku masih lagi memiliki deria ke arah destinasi ku...andai nanti cerita kita bukan lagi dalam kawalan kita dan noktah itu hilang..saat itu dunia kita akan berbeza...tapi hati ku tetap serupa....aku menyayangi mu....

HUJAN MENANGIS

jendela sepi bergenang
sesepi hati ini
air mata hujan
ku tilik satu persatu
cuba mencari pengertian
aku dan hujan seakan seirama
hujan menangis.....

hujan...
tangisan terselit kesepian
bersatu dalam kesedihan
hujan menangis....aku menangis...
basah bumi ini
aku kelemasan menahan keperitan

berhenti lah kau hujan....berhenti...
biar matahari memanaskan bumi...
biar dunia rasakan kemanisan
walau natijahnya kesakitan kita...

hujan....ku menangis lagi
di kala kau berlagu sendu.....

(puisi ini aku petik dari buku nukilan ku...'diriku, karma, merah')

MELANCHOLIC

I believe even melancholic spring in my life

I stil can hug the spirit of happiness and love

Even i almost lying down to the earth and stiff

The Melancholic will not burned me down

The emptiness always try to killed me

And I struggled very hard to filled my heart

Even the death nearly to kiss my skin

The life will not watching the death of my soul

And people will never know the burial ground of me

Because deep inside of me

I stil want to breath once again, again and again

This is one of my poem from 'Karma' (my own poem book) that i wrote back for the readers..

FIRE!!, FIRE!!

You see this guys?! this is SIMON BAKER or in other name is NICHOLAS FALIN in The Guardian tv series..i love The Guardian tv series..let me tell you a little about the characteristic of nicholas fallen or 'Nick' in The Guardian series..Nick is a lawyer sentenced to community service working for the community due to the drug charger. He also, a lawyer to his father lawyer firm that incharge in the business and corporative cases. Well, what the best about nick is he look alike a bad man, who doesn't care about society..what he only cares is work! but deep inside this man, i see the charity an humanity..well Simon Baker brought this character very smooth.

But why i wrote about The guardian series? do it relate to my story? my title is fire, but why i wrote this story??. today, the terrible thing happened to me because of this guy! fiuh..! that was totally wicked and terrible and i can't forget it...

Before I start wacthing The Guardian tv series at 11 pm, I was frieding some thing..While i frieding, i saw the clock has already 11pm..'shoot!, The Guardian now!' I take out my bean curd from the pan and eat it while i wacthing the guardian..well i was amazed by this guy. i cannot close my eyes and stop wacthing the guys. I am focus, very focus! the director arranged the story very nice and simon baker is a realy good actor..!wow! can you feel my enthusianm??!

But at the same time, I didnt realize i'm burning my kitchen! oh my good, bless my soul..suddenly my eyes caught something red colour flamming! ya Allah! shoot! my kitchen...i terrified dont know what to do, I'm shaking. I running to the kitchen and try to light of the fire..owh my god..it's burning and getting bigger!..but I try my best to light of the fire..I try and pray to god..finnaly the fire getting small, small and gone...

Fiuh..! I sat because of tired..oh! my nicholas!.i'm shaking..but I realiez something...nick..I need to let you go if i was cooking...I swear! eventough I love you but I need to do this if I'm not doing this your will never get a loyal girl like me anymore..and I believe I will scold by my mum and my dad...my kitchen..owh my kithcen...owh..nick..shoot!

SENIORITY VS JUNIORITY

I was thingking what I am gonna write in the blog..well i start thinking from the moment i create my email..I was wondering what topic should I post to you..well during midnight i woke up from my bed immediately when i got an idea to write! that was ridiculous for me...i meant hello! mar? what happened to you?! you are wasting your time with this shit thing...! But that is not an issue for me now because here I am..writing... well i choose seniority v juniority because i had an experience that i will never forget for entire of my life..firstly when we talk about senior, we will imagine someone who are matured, a lot of credits, quality, and experiences and junior is a person who are need to respect and learn from senior..well that was totally true! i used to do same thing when I've been junior during my studies at University within my country. I fully respect all my senior, for me, there are such as my teacher, my guide when I was totally blind! But It changed when i learn something, senior is not always like that..some of them actualy immatured, childish, and empty..I am not saying this to all of senior because I ever being a senior too. I wrote this because I have "nice" and memoriable experienced. when I junior i have been bullied by my senior that i respect very much..they borrowed my thing but actually the suite word is used my thing without my permission, prentend to be nice in front of me but critics when I am not there. they never respect me, making loud when i was studying, laugh like a big giant when i was sleep! that what we call matured?! i dont think so. when I as a junior start to react, they said i was rude n ask me to behalf myself..i dont think so. they said, junior should respect senior. but do they respect me?
Of course I will respect them if they do the same thing to me..what I trying to say here is, useless who are proud to be senior but act like a kids. I will laugh if I remember their advice to me..
well there are different between senior and junior.. and i love the spirit..but certain people changed my perception now..well a different are actualy "respect" sometime junior also soo many experience than senior..we should share each other, learn and learn..that was actualy the real way to define seniority and juniority. It is not a name we are talking about, but a creadibility to be senior and junior. respect each other will create harmony view..that is actualy the spiritual of seniority vs juniority...

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK...!!

Well, Salam and hello to the readers!..
maybe some reader wondering why am I put "KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK...!!" as a title. I begin my blog with the meaning of the title that I choosed. Hmmm.."KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK...!!" is actually a symbol, well i prefer to write about world, humanity, interest of me, and global issues..so the symbol is like a "door"!. well we always knock the door before we enter to whatever place so, it is like when you, as a reader open my blog you will knocked my "door" (blog) and then your will see the colour of my touch (writing)..explored myself by reading my writing and discover what I thought. Well, i always dreaming to be a positive activist. That is why I am here!...to share about humanity, friendship, love without no different colour of skin and religion..i just want to share my thought to the readers who interested and actracted to my blog..enough for now..enjoy reading ya!!